Sometimes I'm out on the water immersed in thought or some kind of pursuit (which often involves an elusive heron). Then I catch myself and am amused by the attempts of my little mind to make sense of the Big Picture - for I sense that the truth of our existence is beyond human comprehension. Our sensory organs and conditioned minds can only handle so much Light.
Today I set out looking for herons but fell in love with a small turtle basking in the sun. Then I returned to my pursuit of herons but dropped that agenda after a short time when I realized the "heron paparazzi" state of mind prevented me from entering stillness. Sometimes it's grace that brings us back into presence (for instance, coming upon a turtle basking in the sun), and sometimes it's awareness of mental activity (much like realizing within a dream that we are dreaming).
Then I rested in stillness, knowing there was nothing more important at that time than floating and filling with bliss. I wanted to stay there all day!
While floating, an idea from Testimony of Light entered my awareness regarding the existence of a Divine Blueprint for the work we set out to accomplish in our lifetime - and how it compares with the actual map of our human life when all is said and done. Every cell of my being seems to vibrate with a burning desire to attune to and follow my Divine Blueprint. I want to get down to business and do the work I intended to do. I've never felt it so strongly! Since returning from my recent retreat, the energy has been incredible! It's blown open the door of my self-imposed prison and called, "Follow me!" And I am.
Still, I can't help but wonder how far off course I've strayed by allowing myself to be driven by fear or a desire to please others. That method of traveling seems like taking a detour. Taking the long way home is not a failure. Nor is getting lost. There are times in life when we feel lost, especially when familiar markers are removed from the landscape of our journey. But what's wonderful about realizing you're lost is that you make an effort to dust off the map and find your way. Such times are opportunities to get back on course! Intuition is a useful navigational tool for realizing you're lost and finding your way. It is my compass.
But perhaps in the grand scheme, the journey is more like a labyrinth with one winding path to the center. During times when we are driven by fear or other distractions, perhaps we just slow down and progress along the path in our own rhythm. Perhaps, despite periods of inertia, we're never truly lost.
How interesting that when I entertained this thought, a dog came to the water's edge and started barking at me. It reminded me of a story of a dog traveling to a particular town:
His journey was a very long one, taking two or three days as a rule, and yet he arrived before sunset of the same day. The dogs of that town were all surprised to see him so soon.Citation: Khan, Hazrat Inayat (1991). Tales. New Lebanon, NY: Omega Publications.
"Yes, it was a very long journey," the dog said, "but I attribute my speed to the kindness and help of my fellow dogs. Since I left home, whenever I felt tired and tried to stop a moment to rest, four or five would run up and bark at me and want to bite me. So I had to run on without staying to rest in that place, or to search for food. And so it went on at every place I came to, until in the end I have arrived here at my destination."
As far as others are concerned, I can't even begin to judge another human being's path through life! It's hard enough to discern and navigate my own!
There were so many dragonflies darting around on glistening, iridescent wings as I contemplated Divine Blueprints. So much life energy all around!
At one point, I experienced a moment of clarity from which a question - no, perhaps it was more like a prayer - bloomed like a lotus in my heart. And in that instant, a dragonfly landed on my arm for the first time all day. We remained completely still for quite some time regarding each other (or so it seemed), and I felt myself being drawn into dragonfly energy, as if it were the answer to my prayer, pollinating the lotus in my heart.
Then I felt it was time to paddle back home and engage with my to-do list. I focused on the sounds around me - a form of mindfulness meditation - and followed the sound back home.
But this wonderful energy remains, and I follow my intuition from one "yes" to another. It is an amazing feeling - this movement that has broken the spell of inertia.
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